That first explosion inside your mouth, as the dark-chocolate lavender truffle begins dissolving its kiss full of ecstatic bliss into all the hidden spaces waiting to be filled … ummm … delicious, no?
Ummm … early morning sun resting on your skin for a moment, inviting you to turn your face toward its golden light as an early spring flower opens her petals.
That quietly iridescent feeling that shimmers in your body after a sweet connection with someone you deeply love … it’s luscious, isn’t it?
As Tom Waits said, There’s no prayer like desire.
Your desire can lead to great pleasure. And oh, how we love that feeling, for how exquisite it is, after all.
The Dark Side of Desire
Desires are the energetic catalyst for reaching toward pleasure, even ecstasy. And they have much power. They can wake you up to the deeper meaning and purpose of life.
In Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life, Thich Nhat Hanh says that Taking a deep, mindful look at our true desire can help direct us on the right path to well-being.
There’s also a dark side to desire, however. Your mindless obsessive-compulsive drive for the experience of pleasure can also lead to annihilation.
You can get sucked into and behind its luminous facade, where you can get lost. Sometimes forever.
Very (very) hard to succeed in business if the best you can do is numb yourself out, no?
Stupid, Compulsive Self-Sabotaging Choices
Sometimes what you desire is (much) more of the same, please. I can have another truffle. OK … just one more. Well, might as well keep on eating them, there are only three left.
Oh crap! s/he’s got 1000 more subscribers than I do. Must have more. Must do more.
Other times, you’re involved in a desperate race to numb out the internal monsters that hold you in their grip. When you simply cannot bear to hear their screams one moment longer, what you desire is oblivion. How can you do good business this way, for heaven’s sake?!
No addictive substance or process has yet been discovered that works only to quell the monsters. The problem with trying to keep the beasties quiet using the blunt force of addiction is that all of who you are gets silenced: your sweet longings, your capacity for joy and pleasure and deep meaningful relationships, your playfulness.
Your desires are your internal GPS. For business models, communication strategies, optimal targeting of potential customers and clients … for everything.
Own your desires, or they’ll own you.
You Don’t Get It
The essence of your desire is a feeling. It’s not the thing itself you’re using to try and capture the feeling — that first drink or bowl or slice of cake or new account or pair of shoes — it’s what lies underneath.
That little pleasure-craving spring you feel on the surface actually emanates from the underground river of your deep desires.
Yearnings for feeling safe in the world, having a family, work that matters, adventure and delight, union with God. Your well-being, as Thich Nhat Hahn said.
5 Tips for Satisfying Your Desires
1. Use Them Take a deep, mindful look at your true desires. Use the desires as your map, guiding you toward home. Danielle Laporte http://www.daniellelaporte.com/thedesiremap/ has some terrific tools to get you going.
2. Feel Them What are you craving? No. What are you really craving? What’s flowing in the underground river of you? What.Do.You.Want.
3. Own Them, Baby Use your mindful awareness to feel into the underground river of your true desires. Own each one of them. Without judging yourself or those desires. Mindfulness is awareness without judgment. Remember … own them, or they’ll own you.
4. Lose Them. Lose the addictive behaviors, patterns, traits, substances, processes, etc. You will get exactly nowhere until you do.
5. Wake Up! For heaven’s sakes, wake up. To all of existence. Your invitation becomes one of experiencing life in all of its messy exuberant sometimes devastating much-ness. Not just the feel-good, easy, I can handle this stuff. It’s not that bad, I swear.
Taking a deep, mindful look at our true desire can help direct us on the right path to well-being. Use your desires as your business compass.
Own them. Or risk being off-course, for a very long time.