Body shame, self-hatred and loving the best of yourself are some of the sensitive subjects covered in this show.
David Bedrick, JD, psychotherapist specializing in process psychology, teacher, founder of the Santa Fe Institute for Shame-Based Studies, author, and all-around cool guy, is featured in this episode.
He and Melanie talk about his newest book, “You Can’t Judge a Body by its Cover: 17 Women’s Stories of Hunger, Body Shame, and Redemption.”
David’s insights into disordered eating, why diet programs fail, shame and self-hatred, and “the desire behind the desire, the hunger behind the hunger” are fascinating.
He explains that “failing at dieting masquerades as a problem of willpower and discipline, but it’s just as potent and complex as any other psychological issue or physical illness. My research has shown that resistance to dieting is a healthy response to the shaming that is baked into what drives people to try to lose weight. Because people naturally resist shame and self-hatred, they subconsciously undermine diets motivated by these feelings.”
Another quote from David regarding shame is, “What desire are you trying to satisfy behind the desire for nachos, or ice cream, or pie? You can’t love the parts of yourself you’re not yet aware of. These parts of you are waiting for you to notice them and let wisdom launch you forward. These parts need a loving not a shaming witness.”
David brings deep insight, many years of clinical research and work with clients, as well as a real passion for making a difference in people’s lives.
Part of his clinical and healing work includes diving into and re-working “the assumption that the thing that is wrong with me is not me. I can get rid of it and become the pure me, the right me, the “healed” me. But psychological difficulties are different. If we get angry but try to get rid of it, we only end up suppressing parts of ourselves. I can’t get rid of myself; I must become myself. I can’t get rid of my hungers and body size; I must become them—not the size and eating habits themselves, but the intelligence expressed in my size and habits.”
This episode is terrific for anyone who’s curious about how psychology works, how to develop and use self-insights and self-awareness, and some of the components of happiness and wellbeing.