You’re ashamed to talk about your weaknesses. Your fears and emotions are holding you hostage. Happiness is for other people.
It’s so hard to pretend you’re OK when everything’s falling apart. You’re feeling a little bit crazy, and scared that you’ll never be able to feel good again.
Part of you feels broken, and you’re secretly afraid nothing can help. You’re giving up.
A sacred wound is a little bit esoteric and headsy to talk about, so please hang in with me, OK? It’s an early childhood psychological trauma that results in an emotional/spiritual wound. Then, that early wounding has a profound effect on how we begin making meaning and creating the story of how life works, and what our place is.
Because the trauma happens when we’re so young, we may not even consciously remember it. In the meantime, though, we begin creating all sorts of helpful-at-the-time survival strategies to protect ourselves.
The problems that develop when when we keep using the strategies that worked back in the day (when we were three or five or ten years old) can be terrible. And not only do they not work, but they continue to cause us more trauma and suffering.
Here’s an example — many of my clients grew up self-absorbed or too-busy parents. They didn’t always (or ever) have a caregiver who could lovingly look at their three-year-old and say, “I see you, I love you, you’re perfect.“
So then, they had to figure out what to do to get that most important person to see them, keep them safe, help them thrive, and become who they were always meant to be. And they had to do that all alone, when they were way too young to have a clue about how anything works.
The Wound is Formed by Hard Things That Happen to You
Other examples of how a sacred wound can form includes
- having experienced birth trauma or being born with a birth defect,
- the disability or death of a parent, any kind of physical or sexual abuse,
- any betrayal or abandonment by caregivers or important people in your life.
“The wound does not necessarily stem from a single traumatic incident. Often, the wound consists of a pattern of hurtful events or a disturbing dynamic or theme in one or more important relationships” (SoulCraft: Crossing into the Mysteries of Nature and Psyche, by Dr. Bill Plotkin).
Desperately Searching for Tranquility
I learned about sacred wounds when I did two Vision Quests with Animas Valley Institute, which was started by the depth psychologist Dr. Bill Plotkin. Reading his books, and experiencing those Vision Quests, changed my life and have informed my work with clients ready for emotional and spiritual healing for the last two decades.
My early trauma woundings came in the form of incest, an ugly word for even uglier soul-shattering experiences. I fought very hard against dealing with those wounds for a very long time. And yeah, that didn’t work out so well.
I didn’t understand that I was desperately searching for tranquility and peace. I was too busy fighting the truth and running away from myself.
Eventually, though, I got fed up with myself. I realized that I needed professional help with my unhealthy, dysfunctional coping strategies (drinking too much, selling myself out countless times, being terrified of life).
And so I began a long process of healing, started working with a good therapist, learned how to feel safe enough to open up my heart to myself and all the wondrous glories of this thing I sometimes call Earth School, and started gettin’ on with my life.
Easy? Oh, hell no.
Am I sorry I put in the time and effort and money to heal and transform early traumas into sacred wounds? Absolutely not. It’s how I get to live the most incredible life I could possibly imagine.
And it’s why I can help you with the spiritual healing of your own wounds.
How Emotional Safety Helps Your Wellbeing
Emotional health and wellbeing include feeling connected to the energy of unconditional love and the sparkling magic that makes being alive an adventure rather than an endurance race. No, it isn’t all magic fairy dust; thinking that way is called “spiritual bypass,” or pretending that all is love and light when it decidedly isn’t always true.
It’s about feeling safe enough in your physical body that you can hear its whispered guidance and wisdom. You won’t need to dissociate or numb out when you have the tools to deal with out-of-control emotions, including too much fear or anger.
Spiritual and emotional healing includes knowing that your subtle energy body is more extensive than your physical body. And that it’s your responsibility to protect all of you from would-be perps and toxic energy vampires. At the same time you’re protecting yourself, your heart can be warm and open.
It also includes learning about the latest neuroscience findings to make sure you know what emotional safety and wellbeing feel like for you.
You don’t have to close down your heart to keep yourself safe. Honestly? You can’t live a full life if your heart is closed.
Therapy for Emotional Healing & Wellbeing
Emotional healing and wellbeing encompasses the worlds of both what you can literally see and touch, and the intuitive information and wisdom available in the more subtle and mystical ways of knowing.
While your psyche (soul) may have been injured, I’m here to tell you that you can transform those injuries into sacred wounds.
My compassionate, creative approach as a spiritual therapist weaves together my ability to hear below the surface of the words, advanced degrees, years of specialized training, professional experience, and healing my own sacred wounds.
One of my specialities is giving women the tools to cope with intense emotions. I use the latest neuroscience findings, and combine Western systems, Eastern wisdom, gentle Earth-based practices, as well as creative, innovative ideas to help you feel better as quickly as possible.
My clients usually work with me once a week for 6 to 12 months. As we work together, you’ll be getting tools for long-term success and learning and using strategies and techniques to serve you for many years.
You’ll work hard for sure. But won’t all be horrible and terrible! I love sharing ideas about good books and films and laughing together once in a while.
Please know that I welcome ongoing conversations about making therapy the best experience it can be for you.
The Santa Fe Therapist Approach to Emotional Heath & Wellbeing
I’m Melanie, the Santa Fe Therapist. I think of emotional health and wellbeing as “loving yourself into wholeness.” Some people feel that it’s also spiritual healing.
In my experience, learning to love yourself can be a lifelong journey. Emotional and spiritual healing and wellbeing happen when you deepen into your true self, uncovering, processing, and releasing layer after layer of learned self-doubt, even self-hatred.
Then, you can begin replacing those unhealthy layers with what’s good and true and authentic for you.
It’s really about understanding how to feel emotionally safe in a dangerous world. You’ll experience freedom when you know how to recognize being connected with something grander (and more important) than your tiny, ego-based monkey-mind thinking. That connection can be as simple and beautiful as loving and caring for your doggo.
The Santa Fe Therapist Offers Online Counseling in Santa Fe, NM
Online therapy helps stressed and struggling women find the time away from day-to-day pressures to settle into their Wise Woman selves, access their inner knowing and intuition, cope with challenges, and learn new techniques to help them heal and move forward with confidence and joy.
I strongly believe in the power of online counseling. Along with the research that proves its effectiveness, I see the positive benefits for my clients every week. If you’ve got questions about online therapy, please click here.
Online counseling from anywhere in New Mexico, including Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Taos, Los Alamos, Pecos, Las Vegas, Tesuque and El Dorado.
What to do Now to Begin Emotional Healing
You don’t have to suffer alone anymore. Please, send me an email, and let’s schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Other Services From The Santa Fe Therapist
The Santa Fe Therapist specializes in several areas of health, wellbeing, healing and recovery. We know that one size never fits all. Our services are individualized to each client, and are based on your values, your needs and desires, and your goals.
We offer individual adult counseling and guidance in Santa Fe NM for: