You hate your life. Everyone thinks you’ve got it all together. But you feel horrible.
You can’t settle down. Too restless to tolerate quiet, relaxing things, you’re numbing out more. Eating too many carbs, drinking more than you used to, binge-watching more tv, reading crappy books.
And you’re scared. It’s been getting worse; you can’t seem to power through it the way you used to. Out of ideas, you don’t know what to do; you don’t know what’s wrong.
More anxious and overwhelmed than you’ve ever been, you’re secretly terrified that something inside of you is broken.
You don’t know who you are anymore.
When you run out of places to hide, when the usual ways of pretending things are OK enough to just get through one more day, that’s the perfect time to learn how it feels to be at peace with the present.
- have a sensitive nervous system or are an HSP;
- are living with CPTSD or PTSD;
- have experienced trauma;
- are struggling with anxiety, sadness, and grief, or self-doubt and confusion;
- are living with too much daily stress and overwhelm …
… you may have forgotten what emotional / psychological / spiritual safety feels like.
And when you don’t feel safe, your brain tells you that you have to scan the environment for threats and danger constantly. You’re on edge, on alert, jumpy, nervous. That’s crazy-making and exhausting, and you’ll likely end up developing chronic mental and/or physical health problems.
Plus, it’s just a yucky way to live your life, isn’t it?
Monkey Mind Can Make You Crazy
The thing about inner peace is that it’s right there, waiting for you to bring your mind back home, to yourself. My MBSR (Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction) teacher taught me how to do that, and now I teach my clients.
Something that keeps your mind from staying home instead of going crazy with negative self-talk, freaking out about the future and being devastated by the past is sometimes called monkey mind. I first heard about monkey mind from author, teacher, and Buddhist Natalie Goldberg in her book Writing Down the Bones.
When you understand that jumping around all the time like a monkey is just what the mind does, learn that thoughts are just thoughts and how to get quiet and not let your monkey mind make you crazy, you’ll begin feeling the power of peace in the present.
One dictionary definition for peace is “freedom from disturbance; tranquility.” You can learn the techniques to begin developing inner peace. And once you understand the most helpful ways for you to make peace with the present, your life begins opening up to possibilities you can’t even imagine right now.
When you’re trapped in the cage of fear-based thinking, and make choices in your career, relationships, and money because you’re desperate to feel better, you can end up in trouble.
Being at peace with the present is the antidote.
Peace With the Present Helps You Heal
Peace with how things are in this present moment can feel elusive, hard to hold onto for more than a second or two. It sounds too abstract, or woo-woo, or alternative/weird.
That’s OK. That’s just how it is for our too-busy, too-productive, too-scared minds.
It’s all science these days. There are tons of top-notch research studies with lots of data showing exactly how it all works to help enhance your health, happiness, and wellbeing.
The beauty of practicing how to be at peace with the present is that a) it’s just practice; it’ll never be perfect, and b) because it’s all in your mind, you’re running this show. The possibility of peace available to you anytime. You’re in charge. You can choose balanced health and wellbeing, and step off the grinding treadmill.
It’s OK that it feels hard to do, or that you don’t know where to begin or how to hold on when you don’t want to. Keepin’ on when you’re not in the mood builds psychological resilience, emotional intelligence, and spiritual ease and acceptance.
Those are beautiful things with which to surround yourself.
Finding Inner Balance When the World is on Fire
There are times in our lives when things seem to be so crazy that we don’t know who we are anymore or where to find harmony and balance; times when our world is on fire, both literally and metaphorically.
We’re living in an era when we’re being bombarded with environmental catastrophes, an uncontrolled pandemic, and world leaders who are dictators and thugs. We in the U.S. live in a country whose ugly history of racism, genocide, and legislating women as 2nd-class citizens continues unabated.
These are times when things can feel almost unbearable.
How, then, do we hold the seemingly unbearable weight of being alive, having to function, take care of our kids and aging partners and parents and our own health and work and … ?!
You Don’t Need to Run Away From How It Is
Sometimes the only thing we can do is stop running away from how things are, and ask ourselves how we’re feeling.
- Notice and name what’s going on.
- Wait a sec.
- Don’t run away.
- Feel your heartache and sorrow.
- Make some space for your anger and outrage.
- Honor what you’ve lost.
- Keen your grief.
Clean the house another day. Put your to-do list aside, and let yourself be who you are right now.
Surrender to how it is. Acceptance of how things are in this moment, this day, these times, your life is the key to the kingdom of peace with the present.
Will you always feel peaceful? Yes, maybe, for just a few minutes. But only after you allow the soft animal of your body to feel what it’s feeling and love what you have lost.
My Approach to Peace With the Present in Santa Fe, NM
Achieving peace with the present isn’t really about feeling peaceful. It’s sort of the opposite of a tranquil, la-la land vibe (although, sometimes that happens).
What it really is, is
- telling yourself what’s true for you,
- trusting that what you’re feeling or thinking won’t drown you,
- watching your thoughts and feelings move through you,
- and then feeling a moment of rest.
When you’re at peace with the present, you’ve created a sacred place of refuge and sanctuary within your own mind and heart.
Thoughts are just thoughts. Feelings will move through you if you just give them a little bit of space to float on by.
It’s paradoxical and confusing, for sure. There doesn’t seem to be much sense in a logical, linear, quantitative way. But it makes all the sense in the world once you experience it. As soon as you feel it, you get it. And the more you practice it, the more you feel it.
“Clearly recognizing what is happening inside us, and regarding what we see with an open, kind and loving heart, is what I call radical acceptance,” writes the psychologist, teacher, author and Dr. Tara Brach.
This idea of accepting what’s happening inside of you, feeling, naming, and being OK with whatever is going on is like walking the Yellow Brick Road back home, to peace.
It doesn’t matter how you get to your peaceful place; it only matters that you experience it on the regular.
Any contemplative practice such as Morning Pages (from Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way) can give you profound tools for radical acceptance of how it is in the present.
Other powerful practices include:
- process journaling
- conscious dancing or movement
- walking alone in nature
- mindfulness meditation
- Tarot cards or other divination practices
- listening to the whispers of the West Wind or Raven squawking from the pinon tree.
Counseling for Peace With the Present in Santa Fe
I’m Melanie, and I love helping women struggling with out-of-control emotions, too much overwhelm, and not enough time to find any peace. I used to be the Queen of knee-jerk reacting and chaotic living.
Powerful things begin happening when you learn how to accept your fears and vulnerabilities.
You’ll start feeling more relaxed and hopeful, for one thing.
Together, we’ll figure out what’s going on, and what you need to begin developing regular habits that support your health and wellbeing.
You’ll learn the latest techniques from neuroscience, mindfulness, CBT and DBT.
One of the most powerful ways to support your emotional health and wellbeing is to develop self-awareness, deepen your self-insight, cultivate a mindful awareness practice, and use your creative imagination to stop running and instead, face your fears.
In balancing the science of therapy with the art of healing, I’ll create an innovative program for you that sets you on a path of success from the very first session.
My compassionate, creative approach weaves together my ability to hear below the surface of the words, advanced degrees, years of specialized training, professional experience, and my healing of suffocating, self-sabotaging, chaotic fear-based living.
I use the latest neuroscience findings as I combine Western systems, Eastern wisdom, Earth-based practices, as well as creative, innovative ideas to help you process and heal.
Clients usually work with me once a week 8 to 12 months. As we work together, you’ll be getting tools for long-term success, and learning and using strategies and techniques that will serve you for many years.
You’ll work hard for sure. But it won’t all be horrible and terrible! I love sharing ideas about good books and films, and laughing together once in a while.
My hope for you is that you’ll feel safe every step of the way.
Radical Acceptance and Inner Peace in Santa Fe, NM
You don’t have to struggle alone anymore with feeling overwhelmed, irritable, cranky, constantly worrying, too restless to be quiet and calm, or sleepless nights. Peace is possible.
All you have to do is send me an email to schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation: email@example.com. Let’s get you feeling better as quickly as possible.
Online Therapy in New Mexico
Online therapy helps stressed women find the time away from day-to-day pressures to calm their nervous systems. It also makes it easy and convenient to process emotions and learn new neuroscience techniques cope with challenges, heal the past, and begin building your future.
I strongly believe in the power of online counseling. Along with the research that proves its effectiveness, I see the positive benefits for clients every week. Please click here if you have questions about online therapy.
Online counseling from anywhere in New Mexico, including Santa Fe, Albuquerque, Taos, Los Alamos, Pecos, Las Vegas, Tesuque and El Dorado.
Other Services From The Santa Fe Therapist
The Santa Fe Therapist specializes in several areas of health, wellbeing, healing and recovery. We know that one size never fits all. Our services are individualized to each client, and are based on your values, your needs and desires, and your goals.
We offer individual adult counseling and guidance in Santa Fe NM for:
- dealing with overwhelming angst and despair
- anxiety help
- depression help
- emotional and spiritual healing
- processing grief
- overcoming low self-esteem
- learning how to make peace with the present
- PTSD and CPTSD/trauma
- helping you manage stress